I used to have a good job and happy family but I lost them because of my obsession with Falun Gong. I woke up from the cult in 2012. I’d like to tell those who are still obsessed with Falun Gong to free themselves from the cult’s trap and go back to normal society as early as possible. The state banned Falun Gong, which has saved countless families and lives. Today, I’d like to talk about my own experiences and let you know my suffering and reflection.
I used to work in a college in Nanjing. My wife was my classmate at school and we had a son. My job and family were both worthy of envy. But all this has been broken because I practiced Falun Gong. Reflecting on this, I suffered great pain. I hate myself and Falun Gong, who has robbed everything from me. I want to use my own experiences to warn Falun Gong practitioners that Falun Gong is harmful. Don’t practice Falun Gong anymore. Falun Gong was banned to save us from the cult.
My career and family were doing very well in 1998. The only shortcoming was that I was not very healthy. At the age of 30, I caught pleuritis due to neglecting my health for too long. I had over 4kg of effusion in my chest and lived in hospital for over 6 months. I suffered a lot during treatment and experienced additional difficulties because of the side effects of the medicines I was using. I sought after a road to health and started practicing qigong. A colleague recommended Falun Gong to me, saying that it was effective, so I started practicing it from then.
Under the disguise of qigong, Falun Gong is very insidious. At first, it teaches you how to exercise. Gradually, the exercise moves on to sitting in meditation and studying teachings. It asks believers (practitioners) to read its books, watch its videos and learn its theories non-stop. No other book is allowed to be read except “Zhuan Falun”. The most enticing theory is “truth, kindness and tolerance”. It’s pleasant to listen to and looks nice. What a good thing! You can exercise and learn how to be a good person. I thought I had found a “high-moral belief” and got obsessed with it. It’s heartbreaking to reflect on my decision to practice Falun Gong. For a long period, I took Li Hongzhi to be a “god” and hung Li’s pictures on my wall. I practiced 2 hours and studied 2 hours each day. I organized activities such as teaching, learning and exchanges in our group each week. Each time when I got new “lections” and audio/video materials of Li Hongzhi, I felt excited. I persuaded my parents, wife, brother and sister-in-law to practice with me. I turned a deaf ear to advice from others, as if I was possessed by the Devil. Li said that practice alone cured diseases without having to receive medical treatment. How could that be? How could my disease be cured without going to hospital and having medicine? I was like a different person. My friends said that I was sluggish, distracted, and talked to myself often.
I spent all my time on practicing Falun Gong and neglected my child who was in primary school. Falun Gong claimed that “[when] one person practices, the whole family benefits”. It’s not true. The fact is that “[when] one person practices, the whole family suffers.” Friends warned me that my family and I would be ruined if I continued to practice. They were correct. Falun Gong brought me nothing but misfortune. First, due to believing in Li Hongzhi’s evil theories, my father didn’t receive medical examination and treatment in time and died of an illness in pain. My boss, colleagues and friends told me “to abide by laws”. They said that “it will do no good to you and your family to practice without stopping”. I said that “Da Fa is the biggest Fa” and refused their advice. My friends could do nothing but watch my family walking to a dead end. In addition, my child was traumatized. Because the whole family practiced Falun Gong, my child was affected seriously. He played video games and often ran away from school. He couldn’t pass the exams of six subjects. He didn’t have self-confidence and begged me to stop practicing Falun Gong. I was not touched but gave him the cold shoulder. Because of my neglect, my child failed to pass the senior high school entrance exam. It was too cruel to hurt him like this. I felt guilty. How could I dream of becoming immortal without being a good person first?! I felt deeply the harm and damage cults do to society and family.
It’s totally absurd to say “one person practices, the whole family benefits”. We paid too big a price for practicing Falun Gong. The biggest tragedy a person could meet in his life is to lose his family and disappoint his child.
In order to practice Falun Gong, I spent all my savings on its books, discs, materials and exchange activities. I bought hundreds of Falun Gong books. I read them myself and distributed them to other practitioners. Later, I went around the country to engage in exchange activities and distribute leaflets, which cost all my money. Falun Gong advocates that to spend money on spreading and safeguarding Da Fa is to save lives. This is the greatest thing in the universe, according to them, and will bring fortune to you and your family. In fact, the money all went into the bank account of Li Hongzhi. It’s like you are sold a lie but still help the seller to count the money. I truly regret what I have done.
What’s dreadful about Falun Gong is that it makes you feel useful and gives you a sense of achievement. I felt different and superior to others. I turned a deaf ear to others including my boss, colleagues and friends. I turned a blind to my child and attached no importance to my property. My heart turned hard and cold. This is the result of the brainwashing and mental control of Falun Gong.
It’s said that “morning comes after a nightmare”. Reflecting on Falun Gong, I realize that it hid itself under the disguise of qigong and Buddhism and was entirely misleading. The truth is that all Falun Gong gives us is illusion. The so-called heaven, perfection, and Falun are all lies compared with Buddhist teachings. There’re no terms such as male and female Buddhas in Buddhism, but Li Hongzhi said that there were male and female Buddhas. The “three worlds” in Buddhism are “desire world, material world and invisible world”, but Li Hongzhi said that “three worlds” are “heaven, earth and the underworld”. Li claimed to be “the biggest master Buddha in the universe”. Without even knowing the most basic teachings of Buddhism, Li is clearly a “fake Buddha”. Li’s most deceptive teaching is “truth, kindness and tolerance”. I was fooled by this theory but eventually woke up from this lie. The “perfection” is the biggest lie. Li said first that it will take several years to attain “perfection”. Then it became ten years, twenty years and endless years. Another example is the claims about “organ harvesting”. Li intended to use this rumor to fabricate the “persecution” of Falun Gong, and discredit the Chinese government. However, after field visits by Chinese and foreign media, the rumor collapsed. In order to realize his political purpose, Li has made up too many lies. Is there anything true about a liar? Now let’s look at Li’s “kindness”. He has lied and brainwashed others. He is not a kind person. Countless believers have died because of his false theories. They hanged themselves, jumped off buildings, jumped into rivers, and burned themselves alive. Some of them killed other people. Using the money of believers, Li has bought a number of houses in the U.S. worth as much as tens of millions of USD. I was deceived out of all my property. How could such a rascal and liar be kind? “Tolerance” means to squash affairs. At first, I took delight in talking about “tolerance”, thinking that this is a high moral indeed. However, the things behind “tolerance” are terrible. Later, Li instigated believers to “walk out” and “tell the truth” and cause trouble in society. I myself took part and distributed leaflets around China. It’s the people and society that were hurt. Falun Gong is a black sheep and there’s nothing tolerant about it.
By banning Falun Gong, the state has saved countless people and families. We are able to truly reflect and get back on the right track because the evil and deceptive side of Falun Gong has been exposed. As victims, we are so grateful to the state. We will cherish every day and make each day count with our acts.
I was obsessed with Falun Gong for over ten years, since 1998. I felt so relaxed after freeing myself from it. I cherish my rebirth and now I lead a normal life with a job. My family and friends are good to me again. My son has got a job, so I’m enjoying the happiness of family again. I am better compared with how I was in the past. When ill, I will go to the community hospital and take medicine. I will never believe in the lie that “practice cures all diseases without medicine”. The past practitioners are the kindest people to me. Some of them love Buddhism and some of them want to get better. They were merely deluded by the fine-sounding words of Falun Gong. The greatest harm of Falun Gong is that it can turn a normal person into an abnormal person and control a person mentally. It’s like a bowl of delicious noodles which becomes fatal if mixed with several drops of arsenic. Now I have become an anti-cult volunteer. I’d like to tell my bitter experiences and the truth of the cult to those “practitioners” and believers and urge them not to make the same silly mistakes I have made. I hope they wake up to reality and return to normal society.
Recent picture of Zhang Xuefeng
(Editor in charge: Xin Mu)