My name is Shi Lu. I'm a nurse working in a hospital of Jingzhou, Hebei Province. I used to lead a ghost-like life because I practiced “Falun Gong” all day long. Whenever I recall that period of life now, it seems to be a nightmare to me. With the generous assistance of many kind-hearted people, I was awakened from my nightmare and started to have a normal life once more.
My father passed away when I was very young, so my mother brought me up alone. My mother was a shrewd and capable woman. As a woman eager to excel, she was a member of the propaganda department in her work unit. My aunt spent more time with me in my childhood, so I found our relationship even more intimate than with my mother. In 1998, I was persuaded by my aunt to learn something about Falun Gong. In fact, Falun Gong was new to me. My aunt said that Falun Gong was something great, and asked me to “practice Falun Gong” and “read Falun Gong’s books” with her every day. I read the books for a while and soon got absorbed by the contents. What deeply impressed me was not just Falun Gong’s ability to “eliminate karma” and cure diseases, but the so-called “Buddhahood”, “consummation” and that “one practitioner can benefit the whole family.” Every day I spent lots of time practicing Falun Gong to reach a higher level. Little by little, I became a different person. Once lively and cheerful, I used to handle all the household affairs very well, but I started to care less and less about family members and housework. I also became indifferent to my husband, but instead pumped my whole energy into Falun Gong. In the days that followed, I examined all the materials related to Falun Gong, including Zhuan Falun, cassette tapes and compact discs several times over, and kept practicing Falun Gong every day with other practitioners.
As I became more absorbed in Falun Gong, I was not so thoughtful of my patients as I previously was at work. Later I worked harder to practice Falun Gong so that I could “reach a higher level” in the shortest time possible. I practiced Falun Gong more assiduously. Hot or cold, my practice never ceased and became the most important part of my life. As a result, I was absent-minded in whatever else I did because I had turned all my thoughts and energies to Falun Gong. I gradually went to work late and left early from the hospital, and couldn’t work contentedly. On several occasions I went even further and tried to persuade those hospitalized patients to practice Falun Gong and claimed that their diseases were caused by their “karma” and they should be “cleansed” by the exercises of Falun Gong. Preoccupied with Falun Gong, I got a wrong medicine bottle for one patient. Luckily, my colleague spotted my mistake in time. Otherwise, a serious consequence would have occurred. The hospital leader talked with me about my problems and assigned me to work in the logistics department. However, I frequently asked for leave and skipped work for no acceptable reasons. Given my performance and the hospital’s related regulations, the hospital leaders had to make the decision to dismiss me. But after I lost my job, I became more light-hearted. As Li Hongzhi said, practitioners can’t achieve “final consummation” unless they have abandoned and remained immune to the ordinary people’s “earthly desires”. After I came back home, I kept practicing Falun Gong in a determined manner.
The national government declared a ban on Falun Gong in July 1999. I didn’t understand this decision and believed that there must be some mistake. I held the belief that the State would redress their erroneous opinion about Falun Gong, so I didn’t interrupt my practice of Falun Gong for even a single day. To “reach a higher level”, I spent my life’s savings buying Li Hongzhi’s books and audio-visual materials so as to keep pace with the “Master”. Every time I got Li Hongzhi’s new “Scripture” and audio-visual materials, I treasured them so much that I was totally absorbed by them. To create a better atmosphere for my practice of Falun Gong, I posted the words “truthfulness, benevolence and forbearance” and the photo of “Master” on the wall of my practice room. In my mind, nothing in the world could be better than Falun Gong. At last I divorced my husband and told himthat he may choose to bring up our daughter or arrange for her to be adopted by others. While unemployed, I spent every day on two things ---- practice of Falun Gong and sleep.
On the night of September 16, 2001, my aunt jumped out of a window in Changsha Changjiang Shuichan Guest House and was badly injured after her failure to reach “Buddhahood.” I was taken to the hospital by my relatives and friends. When seeing my aunt suffering great pains, I couldn’t help reflecting on my past behavior. As the “Master” often said, we could achieve “Buddhahood” and “consummation” as long as we followed his directives. As a matter of fact, my aunt was a more hard-working practitioner and more loyal to Li Hongzhi than I. I thought that she should have a chance to achieve “Buddhahood” and “consummation”. How could she could fall to the ground and even break bones? Her experience caused me to wake up. With the help of anti-cult volunteers, I gradually walked out of this cult. Thanks to my friends, relatives and hospital leaders, I regained my lost job and started to lead a life as a normal person once more. I felt that air was never so fresh. Later I joined the team of anti-cult volunteers and actively supported the work of a psychological correction center. I wanted to mend my stupid mistakes through my practical actions so that more practitioners of Falun Gong could be awakened from their “nightmares” and return to their normal lives.
(Executive editor: Zi Yi)