By: Lin Yujie
Xiaomei is one of my students; she is elegant, pure and innocent. As we are of the same age and live in the same city, we become more friends than teacher and student. However, since she started to practice Falun Gong, she had become distant and numb, and eventually discarded her family like a paranoid. During those years, I was always concerned about her whereabouts. One day I happened to see her, she held me in her arms and could not help crying bitterly. When she calmed down, she told me her story of cultivation, which made me furious: How conscienceless the cult Falun Gong has actually been! It shamelessly advocates the so-called "Male-Female Dual Cultivation" in the name of gaining Consummation!
Here below is her account of her own experience.
I got married in June 1996. Plain as I was, I was lucky to marry a handsome and talented husband. Although he said he was attracted by my unique feminine temperament, I still dreamed to be more beautiful so that I would match him. This desire became even stronger when I grew fatter after giving birth to my daughter. Just at that time, I was introduced to Falun Gong and soon allured by the fabrication of Li Hongzhi in Zhuan Falun "After our Falun Dafa students cultivate a while the way they look changes a lot. Their skin becomes delicate and fair, it glows with health...This is all common...you truly do a dual practice of nature and longevity you'll naturally get that, and I can guarantee you won't need to have facials." I read this with ecstasy as if I've found treasure and then adhered to Falun Gong firmly.
After a period of cultivation, I felt my skin did become delicate, which made me more enchanted with Falun Gong. When I knew I could even cultivate myself a fairy, I believed the luck had favored me again. I seized the opportunity with thankfulness and regarded the words of Mater as a decree.
The Master said in Zhuan Falun, "You are unable to practice cultivation if you don't abandon sentiment and desire or don't give up the ordinary heart. Right in the midst of ordinary people you have to get rid of every bit of all those bad thoughts you have, and that's the only way you can improve and go up. You can only be elevated and go to the Paradise after you abandon all affection and desire in the world." He also said in Teaching Fa in Australia that, "If someone can break out of affection, then that person is divine." Those words were a head-on blow on me and plunged me into a tortuous dilemma: if I reject affections from my husband, are we still the couple? If I don't, I cannot do real cultivation.
When I was hesitating, I read the words of the Master in Teaching the Fa at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Students, "The truth is, you're no longer one of the ordinary human beings, and you couldn't even go back anymore, you really can't. The difference between you and ordinary people has grown downright large." In Zhuan Falun, the Master said clearly about relation between husband and wife, "From a high-level perspective, everyday people are playing with mud while in society without realizing that it is dirty. They are playing with mud on earth." I suddenly understood: I am not an ordinary person any more; I am a deity and how can we deities play with ordinary people? Moreover, with the affection in my heart, I can never cultivate myself! Since then, I restrained from my husband adamantly. At first, my husband thought I was not feeling well and tried to refrain himself; later, when he found I was in high spirit and did not seem to be uncomfortable, he tried to persuade me tenderly and passionately. To tell the truth, lying in the arms of my husband was truly an enjoyment for me, however, neither dare I enjoy this happiness nor can I tell him the truth, because when I started to practice Falun Gong in 1999, the government had already banned it. I suffered a lot mentally.
But the Master said in True Cultivation from Essentials for Further Advancement, "As a matter of fact, when you agonize over infringements upon your reputation, self-interest, and feelings among everyday people, it already indicates that you cannot let go of ordinary human attachments. You must remember this: Cultivation itself is not painful–the key lies in your inability to let go of ordinary human attachments. Only when you are about to let go of your reputation, interests, and feelings will you feel pain...you don't let go of those filthy things that you cling to in this filthy world, and you even agonize over the most trivial losses." Reading this, I thought my suffering originated from my attachment, so I did not care my husband's feelings any more and separated with him decisively.
As a wife, rejecting my husband's familarity with me, I felt remorseful and uneasy after all. My regret grew even stronger when I saw he was working hard for our family, and his blue eyes. On the other hand, as a woman, I also thirsted to nestle up his arms with soft smile and enjoy his care. However, Li Hongzhi's words "Cultivating the heart, severing desires, discarding attachments," and "What do the old forces and the old cosmos see as the gravest thing? Lust...In other words, these things are extremely serious to them. So the old forces and all of the gods in that cosmos will not defend anyone who violates the prohibition on this, anyone who doesn't do well in this regard; in fact they will push you downwards." And the collection of papers in Minghui Cultivating the Heart and Severing Desiresmade me "enlightened" if I was still lingering over lust and desire, my cultivation would be hopeless, and I would even sink into hell. So I told myself I should give up the temptation of lust thoroughly instead of cooking up excuses. For fear that my husband was too tender to resist, I decided to leave home and give up lust completely by hard cultivation.
Now, recalling this, I realize for cultivators like me the asceticism was the stupid persistence; for ordinary person like my husband, that is a wreck to humanity. As Mencius put it, "Appetite for food and sex are human nature." Sexual desire is a natural demand of human beings. Nevertheless, Li Hongzhi declined it as the fetter to cultivation, the hamper to Consummation. How stupid I was to believe it firmly and fulfill it resolutely.
In fact, I was an apple of my parents' eye from childhood, and after marriage, was also coddled by husband; when I had to live all by myself, I felt totally at a loss for I even could not make myself a meal. Just then, I came across a fellow practitioner, who helped me rent a room near his. Since we were both Falun Gong disciples, I was not so vigilant and I spent the all the time with him except sleeping. I lived an appearing happy life since there was no need to vex about my husband's love; however, during the night I felt so lonely in my small room and missed my gentle husband and lovely daughter extremely and dreamed about walking on the road home every night. Then I recalled the words of Li Hongzhi in Cultivators' Avoidances,"Those who are attached to affection for family will definitely be burned, entangled, and tormented by it. Pulled by the threads of affection and plagued by them throughout their lives, they will find it too late to regret at the end of their lives," and "If this sentimentality is not relinquished, you will be unable to practice cultivation." Those words prevented me from going back home.
A few days later, our money was running out, so he suggested we live together to reduce the house rent charge. As Falun Gong disciples, being imbued with "Cultivate your heart and mind, let go of your desires," we had no carnal thoughts and lived peacefully with a drape hanging between us. The following three months, we lived a difficult life.
Later, the fellow practitioner found a job in a restaurant to earn money and came back late every night. I had learned how to cook for this temporary "home." The life was so rough that both of us almost gave up cultivation, but we had already sacrificed too much and there was no turning back. One day, the disciple said to me solemnly, "Let's beginmale-female dual cultivation, and that will shorten the time to reach Consummation." To convince me, he read me the words of "Male-Female Dual Cultivation" in Zhuan Falun"In the community of cultivators, there is a cultivation practice called double cultivation of a man and a woman... Double cultivation of a man and a woman is for collecting yin to supplement yang and vice versa with mutual complement for mutual cultivation, enabling the goal of balancing yin and yang to be achieved...Because a human body inherently has yin and yang, with the interactions of yin and yang, it can itself achieve a balance of yin and yang; it can thus give birth to many living beings," "We've discovered that nowadays a lot of men have female master souls, while a lot of women have male master souls. That fits exactly with the celestial phenomenon in which the yin and yang are reversed, where yin is prospering and yang is in decline, as Daoists put it," and "When conjoining the hands, the left hand is on top for males, while the right hand is on top for females. Why is that? It's because the male body is one of pure yang and the female body is one of pure yin. In order to attain a balance of yin and yang, males should suppress the yang and give play to the yin, while females should suppress the yin and give play to the yang."
He also said, "The deity has no concept and they are naked." I was muddled: it was for asceticism that I left my home, now how can I...? So I rejected him. However, he seemed to see me through and explained, "We are the cultivated, not ordinary persons any more. The copulation of the ordinary is dirty, but conjoin of us is divine and great; we do this for Consummation." He continued to tell me about Falun Gong disciples' group cultivation, and how they had been elevated quickly. He encouraged me, "If we perform the dual cultivation, Consummation will be accomplished soon." I had no other choice but to agree with him. When I slept with him, I felt uneasy for I didn't like him at all and he was as old as my father. But for Consummation, I bore all these... Until my husband came to find me, I didn't feel any elevation of myself. On the contrary, facing my righteous husband, I felt ashamed and guilty.
My husband took me home with a strong hand. I felt too shamed when I saw he had already prepared me a good meal. But I was still reluctant to give up the invaluable opportunity to become a deity. Until government instructors invited by my husband analyzed the fearful consequence of practicing Falun Gong did I realize how stupid I was.
After the nightmare, I still felt guilty. Whenever my husband tried to show his affections to me, I thought I did not deserve it, for I was a stain to our chaste love and perfect marriage. After I calmed down, I chose to divorce, although it may not be the best choice, but by doing this, I can still be a woman with the sense of shame.
[Case 3]
Li Hongzhi Destroys My Family Completely[3]
I'm Liang Xuelin, female, 60 years old, live on Dongmen Street, Lincheng Town, Huitong County, Hunan Province, retired from Huitong County Film Corporation. In November 1998, I started to practice Falun Gong for it would help me to get rid of illness and to be healthy as they claimed. In December 2000, I was sent to the labor camp for one year on the charge of engaging in illegal activities and committing crimes in Beijing. On June 8, 2003, I engaged in illegal activities and committed crimes once again but managed to run away and had stayed away from my hometown for more than one year, becoming a professional Falun Gong practitioner. I was arrested on October 15, 2004 and was sentenced to five-year imprisonment in March 2005. On April 11, 2008, I was released one year ahead of due term because of my peccavi.
The seven-year experience is a nightmare for me, for I have done a lot of illegal and immoral things harmful to the country, to my family, and to me as well. I used to have a happy family, but now I've got nothing but a broken marriage and a broken family. And the root of all these is because I believed in the evil theories of Li Hongzhi. Now I hate Li Hongzhi so much, I hate Falun Gong so much!
– Li Hongzhi says we should "sever emotions," so I gave up all true love and emotions in human world in order to make my cultivation go up to a higher level.
In his Zhuan Falun, Li Hongzhi said: "People just live for emotion. The affection among family members, the love between a man and woman, love for parents, feelings, friendships, doing things for friendship's sake – no matter where you go you can't get out of emotion. You want to do something, you don't want to do something, you're happy, you're unhappy, you love something, you hate something – everything in society comes completely from emotion. If you don't sever emotion, you won't be able to cultivate." In hisEssentials for Further Advancement, Li Hongzhi said: "Those who are attached to affection for family will definitely be burned, entangled, and tormented by it. Pulled by the threads of affection and plagued by them throughout their lives, they will find it too late to regret at the end of their lives."
These evil theories of Li Hongzhi made me give up all the good things in the world at that time, such as emotions, friendship, and love among relatives. I didn't fulfill my duty as a wife to take care of my critically ill husband when he was hospitalized, taking his diseases as the way to "remove karma" instead. In the end, my husband was so weak that he fell to the ground from the bed and then died of cerebral haemorrhage.
Before I started to practice Falun Gong, we used to be such a happy couple and live such a happy life. My husband was the chief of a bureau and we loved each other very much. We have two sons and everyone envied us. After I started to practice Falun Gong, during the first few years, my husband cared about me very much. He talked to me about the danger of Falun Gong even if he was critically ill. But at that time, I just didn't want to listen to him. In remembering his deep love, I regret so much right now and I will never forgive myself. In a report submitted to authority on September 15, 2001, my husband wrote: "... I had cerebral haemorrhage and after I left hospital in 1999, I've got to take medicines and my health status is very bad. Meanwhile, Liang Xuelin, my wife, suffers high blood pressure too, making me very much depressed with a high mental pressure ..." From this short paragraph, I can see that my husband suffered a deteriorating health and a painful life at the same time, but I can also see his love and caring for me.
Li Hongzhi is such a devil asking me to "sever emotion" and to give up all feelings and emotions in the world, that's why I left my sick husband and our love behind to "propagate Dafa" day and night for Li Hongzhi, to "clarify truth" for Falun Gong. Now I want to tell the entire world: the theory of "severing emotion" advocated by Li Hongzhi killed my husband and I want Li Hongzhi to pay for this!
– Li Hongzhi's evil theory of "Consummation" made me abandon my happy life and two sons.
In his Zhuan Falun, Li Hongzhi said: "The ultimate goal of cultivating is to attain the Dao and reach spiritual Perfection... Although the part that we teach among ordinary people isn't a religion, the goal of cultivation is the same: it is to achieve Unlocking, or Enlightenment, and to succeed in cultivation and achieve Perfection. That's the goal."
In order to gain "Consummation," I went out to "propagate Dafa" everyday, coming back home very late or staying outside all night sometimes. In order to gain "Consummation," I devoted wholehearted to Li Hongzhi and Falun Gong, while ignoring totally my two underage sons. For Li Hongzhi said that, when cultivators reached "Consummation," their relatives would also benefit from it.
In his Zhuan Falun, Li Hongzhi also said: "A large number of students have now achieved or are about to achieve Consummation. How solemn it is for a human being to achieve Consummation! Nothing in this world could be more wonderful, glorious, or magnificent."
Knowing that some of my fellow practitioners have gained "Consummation," but I didn't have any progress at all, I felt so anxious at that time. So I speeded up the pace of "cultivation" and "advanced cultivation." In my mind, I would like to pay any price in order to reach "Consummation" earlier, including my life. My fellow practitioners and I spend our own money to work for Falun Gong; without anyone looking after them, both of my sons stepped onto the road of breaking laws and committing crimes.
When my husband had cerebral haemorrhage in 1999, my elder son was 17 years old while the younger 7; when my husband died in 2002, the elder son was 20, still too young to know anything better; while the younger one was only 10, a critical moment of growing both physically and mentally, requiring more cares from mother in life. But at that time, I was fooled by Li Hongzhi, and the only thing in my mind was to gain "Consummation," discarding the emotions between husband and wife, between mother and son, as well as all other emotions and feelings in the world. I can still recall that, before I started to practice Falun Gong cult, both my boys were so smart and lovely, both were top students in their classes. But since I became obsessed with Falun Gong and didn't fulfill my duties as a mother, being abetted by bad guys, my two boys started to take drugs one after another. In short of money to get drug, my elder son engaged in a robbery and was sentenced to 17-year imprisonment and still serves his term right now. My younger son was almost dead due to drug overdose and was sent to the re-education station of juvenile delinquency and is still there till this day.
– I want to tell the entire world: the evil theories of Li Hongzhi and his Falun Gong destroyed my family and ruined my two promising sons.
Li Hongzhi coerced and threatened me into this; I just couldn't get away from it and got increasingly deeply involved. As early as in January 2002, during my stay in the labor camp, through psychological therapy and teachings on the dangers of cult by teachers, I had an initial recognition on the dangers of Falun Gong and promised that I would give up practicing Falun Gong. But shortly after I was released and back home, Li Hongzhi said: "Both the body and soul of those changing their mind will be gone and be destroyed completely." Being threatened by Li Hongzhi, since both my family and I had already done so much for Dafa, it would be such a waste if I stopped and ended up with "both body and soul being gone and being destroyed completely." So I started to do those illegal things together with my fellow practitioners once again, causing troubles in neighborhood areas and being caught several times. The authority had always helped and educated me kindly and patiently, and I had wanted to get rid of Falun Gong for several times. But I was so afraid that Li Hongzhi might revenge on me. Li Hongzhi said that all causing troubles to Dafa are "demons." In his Zhuan Falun, Li Hongzhi said: "In the beginning stage I took care of many demons like that...we have another ability that used to be called the Great Soul-Catching Method, and that ability is even more powerful. It can pull out a person's whole master soul, and instantly that person won't be able to move." At the thought of the miserable "ending," I was so afraid that both my families and I would get our souls removed by Li Hongzhi. I had no other choice but to continuously work for Li Hongzhi.
In June 2002, shortly after the funeral of my husband, I left home to "propagate Dafa" and to "clarify truth," starting to revenge on the society madly. In order to work for Falun Gong, I'd been a professional practitioner for more than one year, living a miserable life without sufficient food, safe place to stay, and hiding all the time. What's more pathetic was that, even if I made a small amount of money by doing part-time jobs, the first thing I thought was not to buy new clothes for the younger son, for I hadn't bought anything for him for more than seven years, but to spend it on the materials propagandizing Falun Gong. For more than seven years, being cheated by the evil theories of Li Hongzhi on "going up to a higher level and reaching Consummation by giving up all attachments of ordinary people," I'd always "sung the praises" and "clarified on the wrongs done to" Li Hongzhi and Falun Gong organization at the risk of breaking Chinese laws. To work for Falun Gong, our practitioners got nothing in turn and had to pay the bills by ourselves, some lost everything they had and even died for Li Hongzhi.
For so many years, Chinese government has never given it up on us Falun Gong practitioners who have done so many damages to this country. Instead, the government takes care of us by adopting the policies of "educating, saving, and transforming." In October 2007, I was awarded the honor of "Provincial Active Prisoners on Reform Program," which is the highest and the best "spiritual award" for me since I took a wrong road of Falun Gong a decade ago.
As for my family, my husband has gone forever, the elder son serves his term of imprisonment, and the younger one is at the reeducation station. The more I think about these, the sadder I feel, and I cry a lot. Every time I visit my two sons, I either cry with my elder son or with my younger son. Getting back home, I'm the only one left and feel so lonely. I miss my husband and my boys, at the thought of them; I just can't stop my tears from running down. At the thought of Li Hongzhi and Falun Gong, I'll grind my teeth, and the only thing I want to do is to drink the blood of Li Hongzhi and eat his flesh!
