My name is Chen Mingxia, a villager from Dongnanying Village, Dongguang Town, Dongguang County, Hebei Province. I had lost myself in obsession with Falun Gong and became a "devout disciple" under mental control of Li Hongzhi. In those days when I was cultivating Falun Gong, neither exhortations of the family nor the public voices against Falun Gong turned me back and dent my faith in cultivation. However, its organization repeatedly forced me to tell lies, which made me awoke to my error completely.
In 1998 I began to learn Falun Gong. In the beginning, I was deeply attracted by Li Hongzhi's preaching "Truthfulness, Compassion and Tolerance" and "To be good people". That's why I became a zealous supporter of Falun Gong. Even after Falun Gong was outlawed in 1999, I did not give up cultivating; on the contrary, following the instructions of the Master, I went to Beijing twice for "protecting the Fa". I even divorced my husband and severed connections with my father and brothers so as to remove barriers on my way of learning Fa and cultivating Gong. My determination to learn Falun Dafa well made me an outstanding member of the local practitioners. Later on, it was said that a feature article about me was published on the brochure Common People in Dongguang sponsored by Minghui Net.
One day in March 2006, Wang Xiaohua from Beiguan Village of Dongguang Town came to me in secrecy: "Our superior has ordered us to investigate the suicide of Shi Shuyan. Since you are in the same village and used to practice Gong together with her, you are perfect for this assignment." I took the task and in order to write the report well, I spent about one week visiting her neighbors and fellow practitioners. On the basis of my investigation, I wrote a report about her experience from starting to practice Falun Gong and learn Dafa to finally committing suicide, and gave the report to Wang Xiaohua.
After one week, Wang came to me again and said: "Our superior thinks what you've written is not good enough. So I'm sorry, but you have to rewrite the report." Then I told him that I would make an overall investigation again before re-writing. However Wang Xiaohua said: "You misunderstand me. We are ordered to write about the 'fact' that Shi Shuyan had already had mental disease before she began to practice Falun Gong. And about how you and other people tried to prevent her from learning Dafa and cultivating Gong." I protested immediately: "Shi had been normal before she practiced Falun Gong and we did not prevent her from practicing." On hearing what I said, Wang said sternly: "That's an order from our superior. If you follow the order, you are protecting Dafa; otherwise you are destroying Dafa." With this, Wang left.
I was totally perplexed. I thought about this for a whole night and concluded that Wang Xiaohua was not a real Dafa disciple and maybe she was a devil so jealous of the progress I made in cultivation that he made trouble on purpose to obstruct my Consummation.
I told my fellow practitioners what Wang Xiaohua had said to me and warned them to be alert. It never occurred to me that several days later Mr. Gao, head of Falun Gong Dongguang Assistance Station, found me and rebuked me strongly saying that I was destroying Dafa and if I went my own way, I would be destroyed "body and soul".
I argued that I was just observing the requirement of "Truthfulness" and I was perfectly right. Gao said coldly: "Obviously you are slow at comprehension. The 'Truthfulness' you are talking about is the 'Truthfulness' of ordinary society. You have to foster your temperament first, and then you'll understand that what Wang asked is the real 'Truthfulness' in Falun world." Before he left, he urged me again and again to write the report according to what Wang Xiaohua had told me.
The moment Gao left my home my belief in Falun Gong began to collapse. Would the organization of Falun Gong, which strongly blazoned forth "Truthfulness", in fact order its disciples to tell lies? After a cautious thought, I decided not to write the report.
I told Mr. Gao my decision and he became furious: "You are too bigoted. You will never reach Consummation." I was disappointed at his remarks but I still held illusions about the Master. I was convinced that those guys misunderstood the Master.
One day in May 2007, I came upon an article titled Topics in Focus is a lie on Common People in Dongguang distributed by Falung Gong organization. The article said that the program on CCTV called white black, and Shi Shuyan was not a Dafa disciple and she committed suicide on account of mental disease. They supported their argumentation with Li Hongzhi's words of "psychotics and patients of serious diseases are not fit for practicing Falun Gong".
It agreed completely with what Wang Xiaohua had said.
Evidently, the person who compounded this lie was not Wang Xiaohua or Mr. Gao. It's the Master who I used to deem as God that invented this lie. At that moment the sacred image of Li Hongzhi in my mind collapsed, and I realized that the "Truthfulness" in Falun Gong world was anything in favor of the cult. Otherwise, they called it "falseness."
I finally gave up Falun Gong, yet my family never really gave me up for my being heartless. In 2007, my husband remarried me and my father and brothers forgave me. In 2008 my daughter was enrolled into Dalian University Academy of Fine Arts with excellent marks in the national college entrance examination. I did not suffer "extinction of body and soul" for refusing to tell lies; instead I live a better life than before.
