The portrait of my deceased wife
I'm Zhang Hongxin, born in 1962 in Zhabei District of Shanghai, living at Hutai Road. My wife is Li Xiaohong, ten-year younger than me. We fell in love at first sight and got married in less than one year. And then we had a golden boy in the second year after marriage. However, during her maternity leave, in order to make her portly figure caused by pregnancy back to what it had been as a girl, Xiaohong began to practice Falun Gong with others' agitation, for which she lost her life.
In the early spring of 1998, when our baby was just a month old, she was told that practicing Falun Gong could cure all diseases and make the maternity slim. Xiaohong, who had an inherent love of beauty, didn't stand their repeated hoodwinking and began to practice Falun Gong.
It didn't take long before she was obsessed in Falun Gong. Whenever she was free at home she would read the book with a blue cover called Zhuan Falun. When shewas caught up, she wouldn't be bothered to serve our son when his diaper was wet or to nurse him when he was crying for hunger.
Half a year later, my wife even got up to practice at night. No matter how cold it was, she went to the practicing point to practice steadily. One day she caught a cold with a chill and coughed continuously for more than a month. I advised her to go to the hospital, but she not only refused me firmly but also said, "I have no disease. The Master has said that cultivators will not get ill. Someone may have the feeling of sickness during the process of cultivation, which is a normal response that the Master is eliminating karma for the disciple. With the karma being eliminated day by day the feeling of sickness will disappear naturally. You need not worry about me."
Out of the love to my wife I had never forced her to do what she was unwilling to do. To make her prolonged cough get well earlier, I advised her many times to go to the hospital, but she wouldn't like to, for which we had quarreled but in the end I had to submit to her.
Several months passing, my wife's cough didn't get better, instead there was bloodshot in her sputum. However, she still reposed her hope of removing pain on practicing Falun Gong. She was afraid of my advising her to go to the hospital, so she concealed the fact that there was bloodshot in her sputum from me. Gradually she became accustomed to her regular cough, which made her petite figure more slender.
In 2001, seeing my wife was getting thinner and thinner day by day, I was so worried that I desired her parents to advise her to go to the hospital once again. When she knew that it was I who mobilized her parents to advise her, she became angry with me and said that I was the "devil" who hampered her cultivation.
To find a quiet place to practice she quitted her job, left the young child and went to a cultivator's home. I had nothing to do but arouse all the relatives to look for her. Three days later, her parents found her at last. She said that she came back only for our young son's sake. When her parents mentioned her going to the hospital to treat disease, she threw back an insinuation immediately with curt finality, "My body is under the protection of the Master. You needn't worry." Xiaohong's parents knew her stubborn character and then they washed their hands of her.
In the spring of 2003 and April of 2005, Xiaohong made propaganda cards for Falun Gong twice with those words in Zhuan Falun and plugged them secretly into mailboxes and the cracks of doors of the residents nearby. My father-in-law was so angry with his daughter's unreasonable behavior that he had a stroke. He has been paralyzed in bed since then.
Therefore, the whole family tried to persuade her to stop cultivation. After a-month struggle she hesitated. Seeing her growing-up son, her paralyzed father, tears of her invalid mother and the expectant eyes of her sisters and me, finally my wife agreed not to stir up trouble any more.
However, her cultivators came to our home when they found her out of contact with them. Only once my wife fell into Falun Gong again.
To my query she said, "Thanks to the cultivators' warning on me. I am the cultivator on a journey to divinity that is to achieve Consummation. Won't my cultivation be all wasted if I stop now? The Master has said that you common people who have no method and don't know disciples of Dafa well will not understand Dafa or disciples of Dafa. I really can not communicate with you."
Since then my wife practiced Falun Gong more reverently, but her cough got more furious and her figure appeared more slender.
In April 2007 my wife fell down. When I was sitting by her bedside I saw her bloodied sputum spitted for cough, so I asked her to go to the hospital and have a treatment. She said to me, "You know I am a disciple of Dafa. The Master tells us clearly: Disciples of Dafa are not allowed to see the doctor and if you do so you are not cultivators of Falun Dafa. If I follow your advice, the Master will not acknowledge me as his disciple. Would you please not force me?" She begged me with tears in her eyes.
My heart was aching for her. Knowing that it was useless to force her to the hospital, I said to her, "Since you don't go to the hospital I will have medicine dispensed for you, ok?" After a lot of persuasion, she agreed me to have medicine dispensed for her in the hospital at last.
Three months had passed, but my wife didn't get better yet. Seeing her face more and more sunken I could not bear any more, so I mobilized the whole family to advise her to go to the hospital again. In front of everyone she took out the scriptures treasured up all the time and began to read. While she was reading she took a pack of medicine from under her pillow and said to me, "I haven't taken any medicine that you have dispensed for me."
One day a few months later, my wife suddenly fell in a fit on her practicing carpet. I sent her to the hospital to rescue at top speed. Taking her X-ray photograph, the doctor called me to account with his eyes staring at me, "Why haven't you had the patient come to hospital to make an examination and have a treatment earlier? How could you let the common tuberculosis develop to be such a serious illness." The doctor made a CCL on the spot.
To save my beloved wife I took thousands of Yuan to the hospital and begged doctors to save my wife in full swing, but it was too late. On July 28, 2007 my beloved wife left us forever for pulmonary failure at the age of only 35.
