Abstract: Zhang Xuehong is living in Fengnan District, Tangshan City, Hebei Province. She began to practice Falun Gong in March 1997, and was punished for attending illegal activities of Falun Gong. Recently, a journalist from a website interviewed her in her barbershop, getting to know how she gave up the obsession. Here is her story as she told it to the journalist:
Zhang Xuehong in her barbershop
I was introduced to Falun Gong in 1997. Since then, I got up early every morning to practice meditation and attended group practices on time. As time passes by, I was attracted by a magic power and got obsessed with Falun Gong.
Falun gong was outlawed in July 1997. But I was so obsessed as to take every opportunity to praise Falun Gong and its tenets of faithfulness, forbearance and compassion. I thought it as a way to popularize Falun Gong and to relieve people from suffering. I was proud of doing such a sacred thing.
Following directions of Li Hongzhi, I went out to distribute leaflets and to hang up banners for many times. I rode over 30km on my bicycle to urban area of Tangshan city to distribute leaflets at night. It is untrue to say that I was not afraid of violating laws. I was too nervous to fall asleep at night when I heard the police whistle. Although I was nervous, I was reluctant to admit my fear.
When I was obsessed with Falun Gong, I even neglected my little child. My son almost became an orphan. He was underfed, not to mention going to school. My son had to get foods from our neighbors. He was estranged from me. Even when I stayed with him, I could only find resentment in his eyes.
Why was I so obsessed? The highest state of Falun Gong is to be heartless. You ought to record my remarks. I dare to say such things at anytime.
Family is the last resort for everyone, especially those who are ragged and hungry and in utter isolation. When I became a worthless person to my fellow practitioners, the only place I could go was the home where I had almost forgotten. In November 2005, when I went back home, I was so stunned by what I saw that my legs could not support my body.
My home had been long-abandoned and was in a big mess. My son was sent to a house for aged people since nobody could take care of him at home. I used to be a tidy woman and had desire for improvement. When facing my family on such a decline, I was extremely sad. Where is my family? Where is my son? Did I lost the happy family I had ever had and the affection between my son and me? Is this the reward for my practice of Falun Dafa? Is this the consummation that Li Hongzhi promised me?
The miserable fact gnawed at my mind. I got divorced in my thirties, and then got involved with Falun Gong unthinkingly. Now I am in my forties. As a middle-aged woman, I have wasted the prime years in my life. But my son suffered more than I did. When he was in need of maternal love, I failed to give; when he was in need of family, I failed to give either. What a shame for me!
The cruel fact brought back my conscious. I see the brightness and hope again. My twisted soul is coming back to normal status.
With the help of local neighborhood officials, I rent a house facing a street and opened a barbershop. Now my business is not very hot, but it is enough to support the life of my son and I. My son has graduated from a technical school and got a job with the help of township government. My son is close to me. Both of us are looking forward to the bright future.
