The Spring Festival had just passed. While others were still immersed in the joyous moments of family reunions, I had no choice but to leave home for work, as staying alone at home was simply unbearable.
My name is Li Chunfeng (a pseudonym). I once had a happy family of three people. My husband and I, along with our son, ran a small grocery store in Yishui County, Linyi City, Shandong Province, selling fruits for a living. Although our income was not high at that time, we were still very happy being together.
Around 2002, I had bad sleep quality, frequent headaches and dizziness, so I went to a hospital, where the doctor said there was nothing seriously wrong with me, just a bit of anemia. However, the medication I took didn't seem to help much. That spring, a regular customer, Sister Sun, noticed that I wasn't looking well. She suggested I should try practicing Falun Gong, saying that it would cure minor illnesses. I didn't think much of it at that time, nor did I realize that Falun Gong had already been banned by our government. Sister Sun mentioned that practicing Falun Gong couldn't be done in crowded public places, so I followed her to her home to practice it. It was only later that I found out Sister Sun had been aware that Falun Gong was banned, so she dared not teach me Falun Gong openly.
After practicing Falun Gong regularly with Sister Sun for a period, I gradually felt more energetic, slept better, and had fewer headaches and dizziness than before. At that time, I didn't realize this improvement was actually the effect of regular exercise and psychological suggestion. I was just especially grateful to Sister Sun.
Then Sister Sun told me that Falun Gong was a "divine practice", and its founder, Master Li Hongzhi, had supernatural abilities. Sister Sun also handed me a book, saying that I should not only practice the movements, but also study the “Master’s” book. With a grain of salt, I took a copy of “Zhuan Falun” from Sister Sun. Following the requirements, I secretly studied “Zhuan Falun” while my husband was not at home.
Following Li Hongzhi's teachings to let go of “fame, profit, and sentiment”, I felt that my previous behaviors were inappropriate, such as being busy earning money every day, sometimes even selling goods at high prices for profit, and being especially caring about my husband and son. Thus, using my poor health as an excuse, I often refrained from helping at the convenience store, leaving my husband to manage it alone. I squeezed out time to "study the magic" and "do the exercises". That wasn't all. I also started sleeping apart from my husband so that I could read alone and let go of my feelings for him. However, our child was still young and often made a fuss about wanting to sleep with me, which really annoyed me. At that time, Sister Sun told me that I could move out of the house. Being deluded, I later moved into a small rental apartment sneakily. Initially, I felt very happy, thinking that I had finally escaped from my husband and my son. Not long after that, I gradually missed my son. I secretly went to my son's kindergarten several times, but I did not see him. I had no way but ask my son's teacher. The teacher told me that my son had not been to kindergarten for a long time, saying that he had gone back to hometown with his father. I later learned that my husband had closed the grocery store and gone out looking for me. At that time, I was very conflicted and wanted to call my husband immediately, but the idea that I was already a "cultivator" stopped me. In order to further avoid my husband, I decided to go to another place. I secretly went to Yantai and found a restaurant to work.
During my working time, I dared not show my ID card, only telling my boss I was divorced with nowhere to go and asking him to provide me with a place for food and lodging without pay. In this way, I lived incognito for more than three years, spending my days working and reading, living in my own fantasies, and longing to "ascend to heaven and achieve perfection" as soon as possible. This situation lasted until the summer of 2006, when I met someone who gave me a Falun Gong flyer. At that moment, I was ecstatic, thinking that the "Master" was helping me. From then on, I often got Falun Gong materials from a woman who claimed her surname was Wang. After that, I believed the reason I had not "ascended to heaven and achieved perfection" was because I had neither practiced well enough nor come out to “clarify the truth” like they had done. So, I began to secretly go out and distribute Falun Gong materials, but was spotted by my restaurant boss, who reported me. I was repatriated to Yishui County by the local police.
With the help of the police, I realized that what I believed in was a cult. It was then that I remembered I had abandoned my family and child for over four years, and my 7-year-old son should have been in school. So, I hurried back to my hometown to find my husband, only to be told by my mother-in-law that my husband had filed for divorce in court after over three years of desperate and fruitless search for me and later married a girl from our village, with whom he had moved to Jiangsu.
Hearing this, I collapsed to the ground, wishing I could just die. My mother-in-law and my mother encouraged me to live on well, so I could see my child again. Holding onto the hope of seeing my child, I slowly picked myself up.
Later, my husband came to visit me with my son, but my son refused to call me “mom” and was afraid to get close to me. I knew this was the price I paid for my obsession with a cult. To punish myself, I have been living alone for over a decade, because only in this way, I can feel somewhat at ease. I hope kind-hearted people will take my story as a lesson and never believe in cults!
Source: https://www.chinafxj.cn/n174/c842440/content.html
