My name is Feng Bizhen (pseudonym). I am 51 years old. My parents, like many other traditional Chinese parents, regard men as superior to women. In the past thirty years, in order to prove that I was as good as a man, I struggled to make money and worked in real estate sales, insurance and other professions. I have worked hard and gained something. However, once people take the wrong road, they will eventually lose their bearings, and all their efforts will be wasted and energy exhausted. I fell into a dangerous trap the moment I came into contact with the "Almighty God" cult.
Between MLM and cult, I gradually lose bearings
I used to be a sales assistant in an insurance company, and I also ran a small hardware and plastic factory together with my husband, and we lived a happy life. In 2008, the insurance business entered a bottleneck period, and at the same time, I encountered a multi-level marketing (MLM) scam and lost more than 100,000 yuan, which greatly affected the capital operation of our factory. As a last resort, I had to rely on external debts to cover the operating expenses. Life suddenly fell into a low ebb, and the relationship with my family also entered a frozen period.
The failure of my career left me physically and mentally exhausted, and I was eager to find an emotional support. Dong Qiong (pseudonym), my colleague who worked in the same insurance company, took great care of me. Seeing that I was in a bad mood, she would often come to me to drink tea and chat with me from time to time to relieve my depression. I regarded her as a confidant and tell her about my own dissatisfaction. After gaining my trust, Dong Qiong began to spread the "Almighty God" doctrines to me. During the party, I felt that everyone inside was friendly and considerate, not as realistic and indifferent as the outside world. The "Almighty God" cult claims that the "Age of Law" and "Age of Grace" have passed, and now it has entered the "Age of Kingdom", and "God" has incarnated for the second time to work on earth, that is, the "female Christ". At that time, I thought it was very novel, and I didn't really believe in it, but after the lie was repeated a thousand times, I took it as the "truth". Since I joined the "Almighty God" cult, I had less time to go home and as a result, lost more money.
Encountering a "miracle," I completely lose my mind
Before joining the "Almighty God" cult, I had too many financial difficulties to cope with. Shortly after joining it, I unexpectedly received several clients who came to me to buy insurance. The "Almighty God" cult organization said that these businesses were gifts from "God" who knew that I was short of money. I was filled with joy and became even more obsessed with it, so I continued to attend its gatherings. Immersed into "God’s words", I was indifferent to what happened in real life. So, less and less communication with my family, and naturally, fewer and fewer disputes with them. And I mistook it for the "miracle" of "female Christ" who restored peace to my family.
While I was enjoying the "benefits", I encountered another thing that terrified me. At the Qingming Festival in 2009, I went to worship our ancestors together with my family as we did in previous years. On the way home from the tomb of my mother, my son accidentally fell down and broke his head. I was petrified at that time. It struck to me that the "female Christ" was punishing us for visiting graves, because the "Almighty God" church did not allow believers to worship ancestors. At that moment, I completely believed in the fallacy that the "female Christ" was the "only true God" and had supreme powers to create or destroy the world. I hurried home and closed the door, prayed on my knees, and promised to "God" that I would never participate in ancestor worship activities in the future and would always be loyal to "Almighty God". Later, I learned that the aunt I loved mostly had passed away, and I cruelly refused to attend her funeral to avoid possible “punishment”.
Obsessed with cult, I abandon family and the world
Longing for blessings from "God", I swore a poisonous oath and wrote a "guarantee" as required by the "Almighty God" church to show my loyalty to it. I gave up my family business, ignored anything outside the church, and even refused to attend my son's parent-teacher meetings. I thought that by doing so, I could be blessed by "God", enter the "Kingdom of Heavens", and live like immortals.
After I fell into the cult trap, I longed for the illusory "Kingdom of Heavens", and was not interested in anything in real life. My head was hollowed out little by little, and I became unwilling to think about problems. I was turned into a puppet of the "Almighty God" cult. My mind was full of its fallacies, and my daily life was completely out of colors. At that time, my code of conduct was no longer state laws or human ethics, but the "ten administrative rules" and "commandments" of the "Almighty God" cult. What I wanted most was not to be reunited with my family, but to gather with cult believers, to receive "God’s words", or to update the SD card. I listened to Zhao Weishan's "sermon" tapes repeatedly, and I, once a capable and sociable woman, became unable to get along with others, unable to say a complete sentence except "God’s words". When communicating with others, I often spoke incoherently and could not express myself smoothly. Simple words got stuck in my throat. When watching the TV news, I felt like a person who had just traveled back in time from 2008. I didn’t understand current affairs and policies, had no contact with the society, and was completely out of step with the times.
To do “my part”, I dissipate family fortune
Although I was living in poverty, in order to "do my part" and pay more "contribution money", I sold my garage and canceled my son's insurance. From the initial 300-500 yuan, several thousand yuan, and at last, I paid as much as 40,000 yuan of “contribution” at one time, a total of 110,000 yuan in cash was dedicated to the "Almighty God" church. I also rented a house for the cult organization at my own expense for a long time——followed closely and wait upon it carefully. To prepare for the "world doomsday", and I worked hard and hoarded food out of my own pocket many times. In order to help the cult organization transfer funds, I advanced my own money first to exchange into foreign currency. To realize the dream of "Age of the Kingdom", I donated money, offered materials, and spent ample time to serve the “Almighty God”, yet all my efforts ended up in vain.
Recalling what I had experienced in the past fourteen years, I was heartbroken and didn’t know how to deal with it. Before joining the cult, I had a cheerful personality, loved life, and was passionate about everything around me. I was positive and good at management. My husband trusted me to take care of the factory and the family, but I recklessly donated our hard-earned money to the cult, without thinking about future life. At that time, I was even negative enough to think that life was meaningless, and it would be better to experience the “doomsday” early, so I could live a “kingdom life” as soon as possible. In fact, I had become a slave of the "Almighty God" cult. I would do my best whenever the cult asked me to do for its organization. But if it was something outside the cult, I would shirk it in every possible way. I would not even attend a reunion of relatives and friends. I became less and less enterprising and did not do my job properly. Eventually, I simply moved away from my family and lived in a rental house that I used for receptions. I was addicted to the so-called "communications" and the "eating and drinking God’s words". My passiveness and world-weariness had greatly changed our family, it was no longer the originally warm family. With a cold pot and cold stove, and my husband and I often didn’t see each other for a month or two. The hardware mold factory run by the two of us was facing bankruptcy. My husband was so anxious that he had no appetite all day long, but I was thinking about selling the equipment to pay the "contribution money," as if nothing had happened.
Selfishness plus heartlessness, I hurt feelings of my beloved ones
To realize my selfish dream of entering the "Kingdom", I did my best for the "Almighty God" cult, demonstrating great enthusiasm for the cult organization, but leaving the most ruthless and indifferent side to people who were dearest to me. Trying to be a good "host", I lived and ate in a rented house to provide services for the cult organization. However, my two sons could not eat the meals I cooked, or feel the warmth of home when they came back from school.
My sons and I had little communication for years. The gap between mother and son had increasingly widened, and our relationship become estranged. The elder son couldn't bear the deserted family atmosphere and had already moved out. The younger son was then working part-time to earn money while studying, carrying a heavy burden at a young age. Instead of playing a good guiding role in their lives, I indulged in cult fallacies and illegal activities which broke their hearts.
My husband was an honest man. Ever since we got married, everything had been centered on me. When I did something wrong, he even didn’t bear to blame me. He worked from dawn to dusk every day and was always busy with family business. Since I believed in the "Almighty God" cult, I had completely ignored him. Never cared about his diet, daily life, nor even said a word of concern to him. I was so self-righteous that I made decisions recklessly, without considering his feelings. To keep it a secret, I didn't tell him where I was renting when I moved out of home. I took more than 100,000 yuan in cash from my family to pay the "contribution money", but I didn't even say hello to him before the donation. Now I really regret it. My husband trusted me so much and gave me family property to take care of. Yet I lost everything, and my husband was still kept in the dark.
In the name of “good deeds”, I break the law and commit crimes
After being deeply trapped in the cult, I was taught skills on how to avoid detection by the police, and my “brothers and sisters” often used secret words in daily communications. I gradually learned that the "Almighty God" cult was cracked down by the government. However, the cult called the government "the Big Red Dragon" and did not allow us to contact the government, and even incited followers to fight against the government. With a pipe dream of "entering the kingdom" and "enjoying an eternal life," I did not hesitate to embark on a path of breaking the law and committing crimes. All I had done for the "Almighty God" was to help it spread and expand, causing more and more injuria on families. The "contribution money" I paid became funds for the "Almighty God" to expand its organization and collude with anti-China forces. I became an accomplice to traitors, but at that time, I thought I was "being a good person" and "preparing for good deeds."
Since September 2018, I followed the arrangement of the "Almighty God" cult to prepare for the "end of the world", and went to the market to buy food and hoard it, but I didn’t know that such behavior was not only spreading the "world’s doomsday" panic, but also a conspiracy of the cult organization. The food stored up was not left to eat in "doomsday", but used to support the cult church. I couldn’t tell right from wrong, and I didn’t distinguish between good and evil. I thought I was "preparing good deeds," but in fact, I was providing logistical support for development of the "Almighty God" cult organization.
Awakening from nightmare, I deeply regret what I have done
Waking up from the nightmare, I suddenly realized that a "kingdom" without family affection was actually equivalent to a cold tomb! I don’t want to be confused any longer, and I don’t want to enter such a “kingdom of heaven.” However, I don't know how to make up for the harm I have done to my family, nor do I know how to make up for the 14 years’ good time. If regret were useful, I wish that time could go back and I was given a chance to choose again, then I could enjoy a good family life and never fall into the trap of the "Almighty God" cult. I hate the deception of the evil cult, and I hate my own inability to tell good from bad. The ultimate cause of these bad results was that I had the idea of getting something for nothing, so I didn’t think rationally and solve problems down to earth, while mistakenly regarded the “Almighty God” cult as a lifelong support.
What I would like to remind those who are still obsessed with the "Almighty God" cult, "The Age of the Kingdom" is a beautiful trap setup by the "Almighty God" cult. Don't abandon everything in reality for the sake of that illusory "kingdom", otherwise you will regret it for the rest of your life!
