My name is Tan Yi (a pseudonym). I was introduced by my neighbor to come into contact with Falun Gong in 1998.

At that time, there were many Falun Gong practitioners gathering in the park to practice together. A quite eye-catching banner hung near them claimed that Falun Gong and “Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance” was all part of “great Fa of the cosmos”, which was aiming at guiding people to be better, cultivating their mind and character, curing diseases and helping keep fit. And it also promised “newcomers could learn Falun Gong here free of charge”. What’s more, these practitioners told people that everyone should practice Falun Gong to avoid any misfortune, that Falun Gong could be conducive to build good characters, that the organization had a loose structure with non-centralized management so people could feel free to come or leave at any time, that the organization would strictly abide by national laws and regulations and stay out of politics, and so on so forth.

The words on the banner were quite touching and made me regard it as a marvelous chance in a lifetime, so I started to learn it with the intention of curing illnesses and improving health. I went to the practice venue to participate the group cultivation at 4 o’clock every morning. Although there were young and old people on the scene, they all practiced with a look of solemnity. I felt very happy after practicing together with them for some time, which in turn, made me feel that my physical condition was much better then.

On July 22, 1999, the state banned Falun Gong cult according to law. I didn’t quite understand back then because I was convinced that one of Falun Gong’s goals was to teach people to be better, with “Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance” as the underlying characteristics, and that it exerted a civilizing influence on Falun Gong followers to speak truly, to do practical things, to be sincere and to recover their original simplicity. Due to my mistaken view about Falun Gong, I just couldn’t agree with the national ban on it. So, incited by Li Hongzhi’s “scriptures” such as Beyond the Limits of Forbearance, I went to Beijing to protest against the national ban on Falun Gong, and to “clarify the truth”.

After knowing my situation, anti-cult volunteers repeatedly visited me for conversations, and brought me a lot of information about the real truth. At first, as a brainwashed Falun Gong believer, I was quite resistant to these talks, and I thought the materials they gave me were all fake or fabricated.

But later on, it struck me and made me raise doubts when I saw my emaciated husband, my dirty and unloved children, and my elderly parents suffering from illness but unattended…… Right, my formerly happy family was in a quite bad situation due to my absence from the duty I owed to the family. Although my family didn’t blame me, I blamed myself for it in the bottom of my heart. It was because of my selfishness, that I neglected my family, ignored my children, and failed to take good care of my elderly parents, which by no means was a good person  supposed to do. I was very ashamed, so I immediately started to adjust my mood and broke away from Falun Gong, trying to bring a normal and stable life to my family, together with my husband.

However, because my mind was contaminated by heresies of the Falun Gong cult for quite a long time, in the dead of night, my two inner “egos” were constantly fighting against each other.

At the beginning of 2003, I got a terrible cold and I felt alternately hot and cold, which reminded me of what Li Hongzhi had mentioned: If you stopped believing in Falun Gong and gave it up, master Li would punish you by giving back the bad things on you. All of a sudden, I thought my illness was the result of Karma sent back to me by Li Hongzhi. Out of fear, I immediately run to my former “fellow practitioners”. In order to set my mind at ease, they comforted me, “The Master wouldn’t mind your past. What really matters is whether you have an unshakable will or not. As long as you are firmly believing in it, the Master would still take care of you.” Therefore, I fell for it once again, and started to pick up the cult books full of heresies and re-practiced then and there.

At that time, my family was struggling to live on a tight budget with three children studying at school, so it was quite necessary for me to work and make money. Seeing I started to practice Falun Gong again, my children were all very afraid that I might leave without saying goodbye like before. So, they repeatedly asked me, “Mom, why can’t you just live with us in peace? If we could have you wake us up in the morning before we go to school, and see you again after we get back home from school, it would be a wonderful life!”

Unfortunately, my children’s words didn’t bring me to my senses. I failed to resist the temptation of Li Hongzhi’s “Karma theory”, believing that my whole family could benefit from my cultivation.

In June 2007, a “fellow practitioner” told me that some “Dafa disciples” wanted to hand out Falun Gong propaganda materials in villages, towns or rural areas, but they didn’t have a vehicle. I thought I was obliged to share my personal experience on cultivation to people, because what I cultivated was the “great DaFa of cosmos”. So, I wrote about the experience of my cultivation, and then took it along with other materials to distribute in villages and towns. Finally, I was arrested by the police, and was sentenced for engaging in cult propaganda activities which violated the state law.

When I was put behind bars, I got time to calm down again reflecting on what I had gained from believing in and practicing Falun Gong for nearly a decade. After carefully reading anti-cult graphic reports and watching anti-cult videos, I started to re-examine my doubts about Falun Gong, the doubts that emerged from deep down inside of me but got disregarded many times in the past.

A series of evidence that revealed the lies of Li Hongzhi, a trail of facts and tragedies made me fully realize the evil nature of Li Hongzhi and his Falun Gong cult. All these times, they had been doing vile things under the guise of deceptive slogans such as “Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance” and “becoming a good person”.

On 20th July, 1998, when both Hubei Province and Anhui Province declared a state of flood control emergency, in contrast to residents along the river who went all out to fight the flood at this critical period, several thousands of Falun Gong practitioners illegally besieged the government building of the Hubei Province on July 21. While the whole nation celebrated the first spring of the new millennium with joy, believers of the Falun Gong cult plotted and carried out an appalling and inhumane self-immolation incident in Beijing, the capital city of China, which resulted in two deaths and four severely burned injuries.

Although Li Hongzhi kept saying that he and his Falun Gong would not get involved in politics, he instigated and organized followers to besiege Zhongnanhai Compound, TV stations, general offices of newspapers etc. for more than 300 times. His anti-government and law-violating acts, along with his disdain for the state had been beyond what the whole society could ever tolerate.

The more I read, the more shocked I was. And I recalled how we were manipulated as his tool to do bad things for him without knowing what those things were really about.

Under the guise of “Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance” and “being a good person”, Li Hongzhi led his followers to a dead end. It was unbelievable that, fooled by Li Hongzhi’s heresy, six people burned themselves alive in Beijing Tiananmen Square to reach Consummation, among whom, 12-year-old Liu Siying died from Li Hongzhi’s deception, and Chen Guo, a college student of the Conservatory of music, lost her promising future ahead of her after many years of hard study. All these bloody cases opened my eyes to Li Hongzhi’s wickedness and malicious intentions.

In a civilized society, it’s a common sense that life should be cherished, cared and protected, while killing of innocent people or hurting any living being is the most heinous crime and greatest offence to human rights. Like any other cult in the world, not only did the Falun Gong cult hint and abet practitioners to hurt themselves or others, but also it caused monstrous behaviors of suicides or murders.

I fully came back to my senses in front of those facts. It turned out that what I insisted was nothing but a lie. Looking back on my last ten years with the cult, I felt quite sad and angry because I wasted so many of my good years on evil cult and was very obsessed with it for so long a time. I never felt more comfortable after I freed myself from the spiritual shackles in my head.

Nowadays, I’m determined to bear this lesson in mind, to improve my ability to tell truth from falsehood, and goodness from evilness, to shape a correct world view, to be a law-abiding citizen, and to try my best to give back and contribute to the society.