ANGELA: But when I was 16, I had the wonderful chance of auditioning with Master Li himself in Long Beach, California, Terrace Theater. I remember the exact date because it was the most embarrassing day of my life. I was watching the show, and my parents were volunteering as security guards. And all of a sudden during intermission, my mom dragged me out of my seat and said, “we're going somewhere.“ And I knew exactly what it was because two of my friends had auditioned the same exact way days before. But as my mom was dragging me into the elevator, I was like, ”I don't really think I can be a Shen Yun dancer. I don't like wearing leotards. I don't like putting my hair up in pins. I move like a stick. This is embarrassing.“ But another thought also hit me, like, “this is going to be my first real interaction with Master Li.” The elevator door is open and I'm face to face with Master Li himself! It's a surreal experience because my mom is there and she's trying not to fall over on her knees and be like, “God,  Master Li, it's you.” And she walks me over to him. He asks the choreographer guy to measure my wingspan, my height and my legs. This whole time, I'm like trying to keep my mind blank because he can read minds. I don't want him to like see something, but of course he knows everything. So what's the point? And I realized like I can send him a little telepathic message, be like, “hey man, I don't really want to be a Shen Yun dancer. Like you don't want bad dancers, and I don't want to dance in front of a million people. It's a win-win, you know?”

TYLER: Oh yes, telepathic negotiation. Something in which I believe my wife is a seasoned veteran at, and me, I am a meager struggling amateur. I think all women in general just have a telepathic way to control us and to speak to each other.

LIZ: Oh, it's more like, “I told you that in my mind.”

TYLER: Probably what happens is you actually tell us with your mouth and we still don't hear it. So how are we going to hear it in your mind?

LIZ: That's actually true.

ANGELA: And he's like, “okay, let's see you do the splits.” I give him a little mental wink while I'm sliding down into my splits. And I am such an embarrassment, like my crotch is like four inches off the floor. I am making like the worst noises possible, like grunting. I see the choreographer in the corner of my eye, and he's trying really hard not to laugh. And after what feels like an eternity, masterly goes, “okay, you can get up.” And my mom looks like she wants to shoot herself in the head. But she's keeping this like really plastic smile to save face.

LIZ: Okay, so as a former gymnast, I know the four inches she's talking about. I would have just like, barely like a sliver of space between me and the floor. And my crazy coaches, she would get down on her knees, her nose would be at my crotch level, and she'd scream, “I see daylight!”

TYLER: Now going for the Gold, Liz, isn't easy.

ANGELA: So I'm waiting for someone to say something. And my mom goes, oh my gosh, like, “you don't understand. She wants to be a Shen Yun dancer so bad.” Like “this is her dream.” And I looked at Master Li, I'm like, “you can reject me now. Go ahead, go do it!” And what he says instead is, “she has great proportions. If she grows a couple of centimeters and gets her splits down, she's in.” And I'm like, “dude, come on!” Like, “did you not get the message?” My mom walks out of there elated because he basically gave me a second chance. The girl who went before me, an amazing dancer who got her splits down, didn't have the right proportions. And she got rejected, like straight out. He said she should pursue other interests. But for me, he said, “she has another chance.” And I walked out of there pissed off. like, “dude, either you cannot read minds or you are petty as hell because I made it so clear!”

LIZ: So, what is it Master Lil? Either you're a creepy spirit, Santa Claus who can read minds or you're not. Pick a lame, bro!