After recognizing the nature of the Falun Gong cult, I was extremely remorseful and heartbroken. I destroyed my happy family, deeply hurt my husband and son, and killed my sick mother due to my foolish obsession with the evil cult.
I strayed into the Falun Gong cult to cure illness and keep fit
I’m a retired worker from a state-owned factory in Hunan Province. I had poor health since I was a child, and I suffered from acute icteric hepatitis. After I gave birth to my son in 1974, my physical condition declined rapidly. I often experienced dizziness and vomiting. Later, I was diagnosed with Meniere's syndrome. I went to hospital many times, but it didn't work. At that time, the wave of qigong fever swept China, so I practiced Zhong Gong, an exercise that gained some fame for a time, but my health condition still didn’t improve after I practiced it. In May 1997, I applied for early retirement and took care of my health at home.
Two months later, I was introduced to Falun Gong by one of my childhood friends and began to practice it. I got a pamphlet called Thoughts and Experiences, which was the internal propaganda material of Falun Gong. After reading it, I thought that I could "do a dual practice of nature and longevity" and “reach consummation as a god." So I took the initiative to call that childhood friend of mine and told him that I wanted to practice Falun Gong. Then he arranged for me to find an assistant at the practicing site near my home, and he told me to buy a copy of Zhuang Falun, a Falun Gong book that changed my life for the next twenty years.
I fell deeper and deeper into the quagmire of the evil cult
I practiced Falun Gong at 4:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m. every day for a total of two hours. Besides, I had to study the "Fa", understand all my physical problems as "elimination of karma" based on the "Fa theory”, and give up all my bad habits. After some time, I felt that my health had improved. At that time, I thought Li Hongzhi had "miraculous power" and that Falun Gong had cured my vertigo. So I was hopelessly hooked on Falun Gong. The words of Li Hongzhi always echoed in my mind, and I kept thinking of my brilliant image after I became an immortal and a Buddha.
I became an accomplice to Falun Gong under its mental control
In July 1999, a colleague called me to watch CCTV. When I saw the news that the state had banned Falun Gong according to law, I couldn't accept it for a moment. I felt indignant at it in my heart, unwilling to let it shatter my dream of becoming an immortal and a Buddha. However, fearing the power of State laws, I didn’t dare to practice Falun Gong openly, so I did it at home in secret.
Later on, Li Hongzhi published the scripture Towards Consummation, saying that "disciples who go out to rectify the Dafa are great.” I felt that I wouldn’t reach the standard a practitioner should and achieve “consummation” if I only studied the "Fa" in secret instead of going out to "rectify the Dafa". Then, I became restless in my heart, ready to contribute everything I had to “rectify the Dafa”. Following the requirements of the Falun Gong cult, I began to go out frequently to distribute Falun Gong propaganda materials desperately, waiting for the miracle of "the Fa-rectification of the human world" to appear in the future. However, Li Hongzhi repeatedly broke his promise to let us "reach consummation". I didn't know how many kind-hearted people had been deceived by the rumors I spread.
My foolish belief in the heresies of Falun Gong caused the death of my mother
In February 2000, my mother was hospitalized due to high blood pressure and my brother asked me to help take care of her. While I was attending to her in the hospital, I kept preaching Falun Gong to her, hoping that she would practice Falun Gong and thus cure her illness without taking any medication. But neither my mother nor my brother believed me, so I secretly reduced the dose of medicine my mother took or hid the medicine from her. Because of this, my brothers and I often broke into quarrels and turned against each other. I treated them as demons that interfered with my cultivation. As long as I was attending to my mother in the hospital, I would refuse to give her any medicine to take. In the end, my mother didn’t get any better but died less than a month after a sudden attack of a cerebral hemorrhage. When my mother was buried, I refused to kneel before her grave, thinking that I was a "practitioner" while she was just an average person not worth my kneeling. My family could hardly understand my behavior. I was no longer the good sister, good wife, and good mother I used to be in their eyes.
I adhered to my foolish way without awakening despite dissuasion
After my mother died, I had no extraneous worries to distract me, so I became even more frantic in spreading Falun Gong everywhere. My family tried hard to persuade me to give it up, and the leaders of my work unit talked to me many times, but I refused to listen to them in order to prove my so-called "belief". My husband was so angry with me that he slapped me in the face. But his slap didn’t wake me up to my error. I went even further by picking up my things and leaving home to rent a house for living outside. In this, I could go out without any scruple to distribute Falun Gong propaganda materials and "clarify the truth" to people everywhere. My deeds broke my husband's heart again and again, making him completely disillusioned with me.
After my son graduated from college, he went to Shenzhen alone to work there. Finally, he was able to get a firm foothold in a company and was put in an important position by the corporate leaders. My two brothers gradually cut off contact with me because I was obsessed with the Falun Gong cult. My loved ones left me sadly one by one, making me feel very lonely in my life. Initially, I thought I had been cured of my illness after practicing Falun Gong, but in fact, my illness didn’t get any better. On the contrary, it developed into hypertension and hyperlipidemia, accompanied by multiple cysts in my liver and multiple stones in my gallbladder. It made me reexamine my life and rethink all the words those who loved me had said to me. Gradually, I found my way out of the fog and realized my absurdity.
I felt great remorse in my twilight years for my past deeds
When I think back to the scenes where I hurt my family, I couldn’t help but feel bitter remorse that I had destroyed the precious family love little by little. It was my foolish obsession with the evil cult that caused the premature death of my mother and ruined my happy family step by step during the past 20 years. I got nothing in return for what I had done in those years. I am now 70 years old, without extravagant hopes. I just wanted to make up for the debt I owed my family, as I had missed too much...
